There are experiences in your life that hit the reset button in terms of how you understand emotion. They can be good or bad experiences, high or low, but these experiences are similar in that you emerge a little different, having weathered a new peak or valley in your life trajectory. A new perspective develops. For me, our birth experience was like hitting all the reset buttons at once. The emotional breaker box was thrown open, and the switches were flipped en masse.
On Monday afternoon, we met friends and the Hawai‘i UNC alumni club at a local bar & grill, where we gleefully watched our Tarheels run roughshod over Michigan State to claim their 5th NCAA championship. I remember thinking how polite our son was, to wait until March madness was over. That night was a little funny – I decided to go to bed earlier than usual, remarking to Daniela that I thought it would be a good idea to get some extra sleep in case she went into labor later that night. At midnight, that’s exactly what happened. Dani’s water broke with a pop, and she woke me up. It was a full moon. It was hard not to be excited, but we tried to get some rest because we knew we were in for a long haul. But the contractions started coming, and within 30 minutes we were pretty much up and getting ready for the labor to intensify. Dani’s mother Cathy woke up and I called Sonya, our doula, and Diana, our close friend who was documenting our birth story. Before long Daniela’s contractions intensified and we were trying various positions we learned in our Bradley birthing class. Dani liked the floor the best, and we put about 10 pillows under her and helped her breath through the contractions. We also used the birthing ball and helped Daniela move a lot, to aid in the birthing process. We got in the shower that night twice – Dani loved the warm water.
Her contractions started almost immediately after her water broke, and right away were about 30-40 seconds in duration, with about 15-20 per hour. Being the nerd that I am, I actually downloaded a spreadsheet that allows you to track the duration, timing and intensity of contractions. I didn’t want to rely on a stopwatch and have to count them. Around 4 am the contractions really started to intensify and last longer – around 50-60 seconds. It was time to go to the hospital. I hurriedly packed the car with our pre-prepared bags, towels and other stuff. We jumped in the car and headed straight over the Pali to Castle Birthing Center in Kailua. The car ride was tough – Dani was seriously progressing. Upon arrival she was 5 cm dilated and we moved swiftly to get her into the tub so she could labor in the water. For the next 5-6 hours, Daniela’s labor was really intense. We found out Kai was in an LOP presentation, which basically means he was trying to come down the birth canal face-up, rather than face-down. This put tremendous pressure on Dani’s back, and I spent most of the morning applying counter-pressure to her back. We did this with cold compresses, and Dani would rock her hips back and forth to aid in the process. After 6 hours, she had only progressed 1 cm, and Dani was clearly worn out. She was in a lot of pain, and had been in active labor for about 11 hours. At that point we decided to go for the epidural. It was a difficult decision to make, but one that we have no regrets about. She was in too much pain to actively walk around and help baby’s descent, and most of this was attributed to the posterior presentation. We had tried everything we learned in Bradley, including left leg lunges, cold compresses, and every possible position.
After the epidural, Dani was able to get some much needed rest. Her contractions were a little less intense, but still very consistent. She labored during the day of the 7th, and by evening she was almost fully dilated. At that point we were racing against the clock. The time elapsed since her water breaking was increasing her risk of infection. At that point, we elected to put her on a small dose of Pitocin to speed up the labor. Her contractions remained at the same interval, but grew more intense. Within a few hours we were ready to push. Dani pushed for about 3-4 hours, and this was probably the most intense part of the labor other than the birth itself. Aided by our wonderful midwife and the great nursing staff, we helped Dani labor in various positions. The best pushing position ended up being a “yoga push” where she held her own ankles while laying on her side at a 45 degree angle.
At 1 am, we were very close but Dani was worn out – it had been 25 hours. Our midwife suggested we use a vacuum suction, and we agreed. Our OB/GYN Dr. Battacharrya came in and the vacuum was successful. Our baby boy was born at 1:48 am on the 8th of April. The most intense part of the experience was when he was born. The doctor immediately gave him to the pediatrician who took him to an infant warmer a few yards away. He and two nurses worked quickly on our newborn. It was a surreal experience – I didn’t want to leave Dani because she was still in a lot of pain. But I was scared because the room was eerily silent. Kai didn’t make a sound for about 30 seconds, but when he let out a little cry my heart just melted. Dani looked at me and said “Go see him – go see our son.” I went quickly over and finally saw him. He was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.
Our birth experience had it all – pain, joy, exhaustion, sheer terror, and love. You experience all of this on basically a multi-day marathon with no sleep. It’s an awesome experience. Though we didn’t achieve our goal of a natural childbirth, we have no regrets. I feel strongly that if Kai had been in a normal presentation (anterior, or face-down), we would have been able to achieve a natural childbirth. We were informed and educated about our decisions, and most of the choices were not very difficult to make. Our medical staff made recommendations, we made the choices and were therefore in charge of our own birth experience.
This story would not be the same without the people involved. Sonya, our close friend and doula, was an inspiration. Her stamina, attitude, and guidance throughout the whole experience was a god-send. We were so happy and lucky that Dani’s mom Cathy could be there for us throughout the birth and afterwards. Cathy helped take great care of Dani and me, and it was so special for us to have her there for Dani’s birth. Diana, our close friend and photographer, displayed incredible stamina, staying through the entire birth and documenting the whole experience. And finally, the nursing staff, our midwife Linda Chong-Tim, and OB/GYN Eesha Bhattacharrya were incredible. We strongly recommend Castle and were so impressed with their professionalism and focus on the mother during the birth process.
We will post some beautiful pictures taken by Diana soon.
Much love to you all, The Kittinger Family
